Okay, here goes. I admit it! I just chose the word and not the number! What a beginning! So what? It's still the word that matters here and not the numbers.
So how do I begin? Did you even get the meaning? Oh my..I'm not very good with beginnings. Have you ever tried opening your mouth and nothing comes out but your breathtakingly breathtaking bad breath? Well, oftentimes it happens. (when you don't brush your teeth) What I'm trying to say is that it's really hard to begin with something you've never done nor experienced before.
So, to begin with..let me share to you my beginning. It happened last March 15, 2010 at exactly 4:00 pm. That was when I saw my beginning.
When I heard her first cry, saw her dimples, I was brought back to life. The reality came rushing in like a tidal wave. I did it! With a powerful, dreadful, (lukot na paper look) PUSH! She was so precious, so little, so cute, so angelic, so lovely, so kempertush! (Nevermind the meaning, I just like saying that last invented word) I can't believe she's mine!
By the way she is Yellow Zoe Sagarbarria aka Dilaw, Zoeta, Zoepao, Piday liit.
I literally thought it was the end of my world when I found out I was pregnant. I felt like a failure. I wanted to die. I blamed myself too much. I didn't know how to begin dealing with the truth that I was going to raise a child on my own. It's such a shame I felt that way but it just didn't matter anymore when I laid eyes on this gift of life. So beginning that day, I began to be grateful.
To date, Zoe is already 5 years old and 10 months to be exact. She is beginning to fight her own battles at home, school etc. And I am beginning to be scared for her to see and experience the "cruel world". But since my love for her has no walls, no ceilings, no floors, I will never burn her wings.
Tonight, as I end this blog, I realized that this is just the beginning...
Nice one :)
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